I have been thinking. Many things. I have been hearing words, eavesdropping on conversations, deciphering song lyrics, analyzing advice and there's a lot going on. Within and without.
My boss today tells me I have a way with words, and I have a promising future as a journalist. This after she told me I need to pull up my socks and perform "up to the mark". Don't get me wrong, she was write in telling me to perform better, I have been goofing up quite a bit, what with it being my first job, I am still struggling with the place and the pace of it all.
I was pretty shattered when she gave me a reality check on the phone. I don't do well with criticism, and I don't know what to do when I know I am trying so hard to perform. It's tough being told "You're not doing it right." when all you really are trying to do, is to do it right! I doubt my abilities in such situations, it's not just a casual experience for me.
I have developed this strange passion for excellence lately. And this love for my career. This strong feeling of direction and dedication. I haven't ever felt it this way before, and so, after trying and feeling, it's kind of disheartening being told what I was told today.
But I guess she made up for it, by telling me she saw me as a promising writer. But I doubt she really felt it. I don't know. All I know is, I got to keep at it. I have never wanted to be something like I want to these days, which is pretty awesome in itself.
So then it got me thinking about "words", and what it means when someone says you have a "way with words". It could mean you know what to say when, but I don't think that's what my boss meant.
For me, writing is all about expression. A good piece of writing, comes from a person with substance. This brings me to the song lyric bit I mentioned earlier. I have re-discovered Coldplay. Their not so new album, "Viva la Vida and Death and all it friends" is quite beautiful. A unique combination of music and lyrics, phenomenal stuff. Though whatever songs I have heard their lyrics are quite contextual, but I still wonder where they came from. I mean, it's easy to write stories, okay not "easy", but what I mean is, storytelling is one thing, you know, one thing leads to another, its more sequential. I like the way their songs are so open to interpretation. A line could be understood independent of the entire song and it would still make sense. That's why I say good writing comes from substance, or a deep understanding, an intense feeling and just the right words.
Such people are rare, whose writings touch your heart. Who say the right words to convey a feeling which all of us feel, but say it in such an ordinary manner. I think that's what leaves me spellbound about Richard Bach's writing. He says the simplest things, in the simplest way, and yet, not in a way you and I can express. Good writing requires a whole lot of reflection and self analysis. You have to take an experience, a feeling, make it yours, feel it completely, deeply and then express it.
I don't quite remember why or when I started writing. I took to it in school, in creative writing competitions. Only when I won one of those competitions I felt I could write and people actually could comprehend what I wrote. It was more about my ideas that time. My creative world of ideas that I could weave into a story. But as I grow, I find myself fascinated with the idea of words. A good writer can express reality in words of fantasy. As my good "friend" Joey says, "It's not what you say, but how you say it."
Am still thinking.