Ek Baar, Akele

Kabhi apni parchai se bhaag jaane ka mann chahta hai
Run, like no one's looking
Go away, without caring
Nobody calling out to me, to just vanish like I have always been invisible...

Itni bheed mein lagta hai main gum hoon
Ab tanhai mein khudko khone ka mann karta hai
I find myself dissolving into the crowd...afraid that I am not who I thought I was
Convinced, that I am not who you see
I want to dive into depths of myself while no one watches

Kabhi chashma uttaar ke dekha to sab dikhne laga
Kabhi sheeshe mein khudko dekha toh laga koi hai jise mein janti hee nahi
Take away the mirrors, take away these things that surround me
Even my reflection, my shadow...There is no one's company I seek

Aaj maine ek akela panchi udte hue dekha
Aur achanak se apni yaad aa gayi
In that moment I felt like I am missing out
Could I ever dare to go missing?

Pehli baar, imaarto ki beech sukoon mila
Logo ke nahi, 
Is there a somewhere where no love, no friendship
Can even touch me?

Aaj apne naa hone pe yakeen aane laga
In a crowd, I went looking for me.

Feeling Mumbastic: When it rained like Mumbai in Delhi

This morning was quite a wet one. Wild Wild Wet, I'd say. Delhi's not the most prepared for any sort of emergency, natural or man-made, in spite of the fact that it's the capital. So rain like this is both disastrous and hilarious.

It was quite a sight. My mom and the maid were running around the house with piles of newspaper and a puny, squeezed out dusting cloth. All the doors and windows of the house were open and the water came pouring in, as if in buckets. The electricity went out and within a few minutes the invertor gave in. So now we couldn't help but open a few doors to let the light in. My sister was shouting at my mother in concern since water and marble aren't really mom's best friends. My mom, on the other hand, was too caught up in saving her house from drowning. We live on the first floor.

Since my sister, jijoo and I had to leave (it seems strange now why we just had to leave), all the umbrellas in the house were gathered and distributed. By all I mean two. A third one was reserved by mom for the purpose of house conservation. There was brief dialogue over why going to the passport office in such weather was imperative (for didoo and jijoo) and why office work could not be done from home (for me). Fast distracted by the tonnes of water falling from the sky, the conversation was submerged under the sound of cloud bursts and we all left. While sharing an umbrella, my sister and I (of course the damaad gets his individual one) found ourselves drenched from front and back respectively.

As soon as we got into the car, the impended dialogue resumed. Why were we going anywhere, my sister asked. I was busy laughing. Jijoo desperately wiped the screen of the car while he drove.

I made it to office somehow and the parking was now submerged. Getting in was quite a treat. A welcoming committee of housekeeping boys and guards stood at the gates, furiously sweeping the water out from the main entrance. My CEO was the only other person in office. I walked to my desk drenched from head to toe and looked down.

I was wearing my bathroom slippers.    

I am Generation Why Not?

Aren't we a very 'public' generation? They call us generation 'Y' but I'd say we are more the generation 'Y NOT?' Seriously, nothing is off the table.

I don't quite mean it as a compliment. I mean, I guess it has its benefits but how open is too open? And honestly, it's a bit scary when everything goes.

We update every breath we take on facebook and twitter, but no one really knows who we are. You may have 1200 friends on facebook but only 1 or 2 are with you when you need friends. The world knows where you went on vacation, but no one cares to know why a vacation was needed in the first place.

We talk about sex like it's a new flavour of ice candy available at the corner of every street. We wear less, talk more, stay out and don't know where we come from. We like noise, we like speed, we blink faster. We love colours. Our senses are out of control. We talk of peace a lot. About wanting it for the world, but we hate silence. We tell people we don't know that we love them. We love but we don't care.

We stand for everyone's truths because it's convenient not to stand for anything. We revel in ignorance and call it being chilled out. We really know how to chill out. We hang out. We pass out. We freak out. Inside is not a place we know. Inside is not where we go for answers.

We are easy. Sometimes, we are easy-going. We see the bigger picture and forget the minor details. We click a lot of pictures. We are cool because we don't care. We don't care about what we wear and what we say. We use people and words carelessly. We think innocence is passe and so by the time we are twenty, we are actually thirty-one.

We pout. We kiss and tell. We laugh out loud. We paint towns red. We hoard. We are outsiders to ourselves. We 'have a life' because we party. We live on virtual websites.